Merlin Mann had a great post yesterday at 43 Folders about photography, and having the courage to suck. A must-read.

The more popular version of this phrase is nosce te ipsum, which more literally means “know your self”, but I prefer the version used in the film The Matrix, because it literally means “your own self you must know.” (It sounds like something Yoda might say!)

No matter who we are, we must carve our own path through this life. We can try to join cliques and groups and follow the packs, but you’re born alone and you’ll die alone, and you’ll only ever be truly happy if you walk alone. (Cue Green Day soundtrack.) That’s why I prefer temet nosce. You must know your own self.

The importance of individuality stands out, of course, in relation to photography. I’ve been in a thousand different drug stores and seen a thousand different postcards with a pretty girl in a bikini on a beach. As I sit here now, trying to draw to mind the name of a single photographer known for those shots, I can’t think of one. Not one.

But if you put a photo in front of me that was taken by Helmut Newton, I’ll recognize his style even if I hadn’t seen the photo before. Likewise, I would instantly recognize the work of Joel-Peter Witkin. Man Ray. Diane Arbus. Imogen Cunningham. Henri Cartier-Bresson. Salvador Dali.

One thing all of those famous photographers had in common is that they were all following a unique path. Their work was deeply personal. It had their signatures all over it. And it definitely was not universally accepted.

That last part is important: when you’re doing your own thing, the odds are that you’re not going to fit in with everyone. Even the work of Ansel Adams isn’t for everyone. There will be people who don’t like what you do.

That is why it’s so important to know your own self, and to carve your own path. When you’re doing what everyone else is doing, and trying to fit in, the criticisms you get will destroy you. Those who try to please everyone end up spinning in circles when they find someone who doesn’t like what they do.

When you’re working toward your own true path, criticism doesn’t hurt. People can (and will!) challenge you. They will say they don’t like it. They will try to make you doubt yourself. But when yours is the most important opinion, no one else can say anything to shake you from your vision.

And, more importantly, it’s a big world. No matter how odd your personal vision is, there are other people out there like you. When you pursue your own path, other like-minded people will find you, and you’ll find the acceptance you could never get from following the pack.

Temet nosce.

After reading this post at Epic Edits, I felt inspired to assess my own photography and decide what I thought were my weaknesses and how I plan to improve them.

At present, I think my weakest area by far is that I’m simply not spending enough time shooting. I used to shoot every day, either out wandering, or building shots in my home studio, or working on a project with one or more models.

Lately, however, I’ve allowed too many other things to get in the way. Or, to be more accurate, I’ve made time for everything else except the thing I love.

Actually, I think anything else that I perceive to be a weakness is really just a result of that: not taking the time to shoot more.

For instance, I wish I was more familiar with various artificial lighting tricks, but I know that if I were shooting more, I would take the time to try out more techniques and get familiar with them.

Also, I know that if I were shooting more, I know I would be making more contacts and making more progress on my projects — another thing that I currently consider to be a weakness.

So what do I plan to do about it?

Simple. I’m going to shoot more. It’s time to stop making time for everyone else and start making time for me and the thing that I love. I’m going to get out with my cameras and start shooting regularly again. I’m going to make some contacts and some new friends and start bringing my new ideas to life.

Want to help?
Anyone reading this is welcome to get involved. If you think you might enjoy being a guinea pig for an afternoon while I experiment with lighting, let me know! If you or someone you know is interested in modeling, let me know!

I just read this post at StrongLifts.com, linking to a video of Jamie Gallentine’s recovery after a massive spinal injury. Mehdi (the author) asks readers what they would do if they had suffered the same punch in the face.

I’m reminded of the book Think and Grow Rich, by Napoleon Hill. The book’s recurring theme is simply that people are only successful when they refuse to accept failure. All of the most successful people have faced huge setbacks, but instead of accepting failure as their lot in life, they pushed on.

There are equally inspiring recovery stories in the NFL — one of my favorite topics. When you see a guy like Willis McGahee getting his knee destroyed, it’s easy to say, “well that’s it… he’s done,” but anyone who watched him run this season with the Ravens knows that he was far from finished. Some might say that any recovery is great, and that returning to NFL level is an astounding achievement. I disagree. I say that the achievement is just par for the course — typical of the kind of drive and commitment that made him a candidate for the NFL in the first place.

Vince Lombardi get’s the credit for saying, “winners never quit, and quitters never win.” But the idea has been known by successful people throughout history. Michael Jordan had more missed baskets than most players. Brett Favre holds a record for interceptions thrown. Thomas Edison had 1000 light bulbs that didn’t work.

Are you a winner? Or have you already given up?

I’ve been truly inspired recently by the events that have transpired for a coworker. (I’ve chosen not to mention names or link to pages, in case there’s anything he doesn’t want to be public yet.) The excitement and the passion that this guy brought to the workplace are what really convinced me to take this job, and it has been the most exciting and most rewarding job so far in my career.

He was already a senior manager at an international corporation before he was 30 years old, and this wasn’t his first prestigious job title. By many people’s standards, he’s already a winner. But instead of resting on his laurels, this guy still wanted more. He invested every spare moment into another project, working into the morning hours for his own successful venture whenever he wasn’t in the office, working for someone else’s.

Recently he was contacted by a major player in the industry related to his project, wanting to buy it out. But instead of settling for the easy pay day, he took what was behind door #2: an even bigger position (vice president) at the company in question, where he will oversee all their new efforts as they integrate his product into their line.

Most of us realize that if we want more we have to work for more, but few of us ever accept that we do, in fact, want more. It’s so easy to take the new position, or the new title, or the new pay raise, and then sit back with our feet up, feeling like we’ve lived the good life. If you want to get to the top, you have to keep climbing.

I consider myself fortunate to have seen someone set an example of what that looks like.

I’d like to take a moment to talk about mind control. Mind control is the ultimate power; you can use it to influence others, to alter your own reality, and to make personal gains or profit. The possibilities are endless.

Now let’s be clear, I’m not talking about some ESP or other hocus pocus that you might see in a movie. This isn’t some Jedi mind trick, and it’s not hypnosis. It’s much simpler, much more down-to-earth, and yet much more powerful if you learn to use it.

In other words, I’m not talking about controlling other people’s minds, I’m talking about controlling your own. Frankly, yours is the only mind that you have the power to control anyway.

Why So Negative?
Considering all the facts and evidence may be the most logical course of action, and may lead to the most accurate and reasonable decisions, but it takes time. When a prehistoric human was faced with a new threat — for instance, a hungry lion — considering all the facts and evidence would have taken too long and he would have been eaten. Thus, our brains are equipped to take shortcuts. We have the power to assume. We developed the ability to make quick, loose judgment calls without considering all the evidence, because the ability to assume proved to be beneficial to survival.

We humans are biologically evolved to favor negativity. As a simple survival trait, natural selection favors pessimism because those who are too trusting or too nonchalant would not have survived, while those who were cautious or skeptical were likely to live to tell about it… and to reproduce.

So, to greatly oversimplify the complicated topic of evolutionary psychology, that explains why it is so easy to see the bad in a situation, or to assume the worst about something someone says. It’s built in to our DNA! We humans are natural skeptics. We are natural pessimists. Murphy’s Law is a product of evolution, and so is the “why me?” attitude.

Unlike our ancestors, however, we don’t face daily challenges to our survival. We’ve learned about man-eating tigers in school so we don’t have to guess at their motives… but moreover, the odds of encountering one in daily life are inordinately low!

There aren’t many threats to our survival lurking around the corner. Civilization has provided us with governments and laws and hospitals and health care. We’ve learned about germs and disease and all-in-all, modern civilization has made it pretty easy to survive. Yet we still have that evolved propensity for negativity, and now it’s working against us!

The Power of Positivity
Caution and skepticism work because our brains have evolved to use shortcuts, but those same shortcuts can be exploited to favor positivity and optimism. Instead of assuming the worst in a situation, you can make the conscious choice to assume the best. And doing so repeatedly will make it a habit.

I hear people all the time talking about fear of failure. They’re afraid to try something because they might not succeed. But failure when trying something new, like investing in stocks or starting your own business is a far different thing than the failure our ancestors would experience if they weren’t able to escape that hungry predator.

All the most successful people in history have understood this same concept: failure is not a bad thing. Instead of fearing failure, successful people welcome it. They see the positive, rather than the negative: they learn from failure, rather than sulking in it.

Perception is Reality
The power of our evolved ability to assume is that we are not consciously aware of the difference between an assumption and a fact. It truly is a shortcut, leading to the same place: belief. What you perceive becomes your reality.

If you believe that you are cursed, you will find the evidence of it everywhere you look. If you believe that people are out to get you, you will see yourself as the victim in every interaction you have. If you believe in Murphy’s Law, things really will go wrong at every turn.

But the opposite can be true, too. You can choose to believe that people are inherently good, and you will find that they will prove you right. You can choose to believe that there is no such thing as a lose-lose — that every choice has a positive outcome — and you will benefit from that attitude as you go through life.

Success is a choice. Popularity is a choice. Happiness is a choice. It’s all in your mind. No one else can make you unhappy if you choose to be happy. No one else can take away your joy. Only you make the choice.

The power of mind control is choosing how you will perceive the world, rather than defaulting to those negative assumptions.

Wow, I’m noticing a follow-your-dreams theme in my writing today.

I picked up this little book last night called It’s Not How Good You Are, It’s How Good You Want To Be, by Paul Arden, and read the entire thing on my train ride home.

Arden instructs readers to aim high, set lofty goals, and accept nothing less. He says to be who you want to be, instead of who you are: talk big, and make it happen. He talks about how to please your clients and earn their trust. Most importantly, he encourages you to take responsibility for yourself, and constantly push forward, rather than becoming complacent and settling for less than what you truly want.

The book is filled with zen-like truth that applies to today’s world. It’s straight to the point, and brutally honest. Some of the advice is obviously related to advertising and creative endeavors, but the wisdom in this book is universal. I’ll read this again and again.

Yesterday, someone tried to get under my skin by throwing in my face that facts that I don’t own a car, that I don’t own my own home, and that I live in a bad neighborhood in a spare room with family. This person thought that would really hurt my feelings, but they couldn’t have been more wrong. If you think that bothers me, you don’t know me at all.

Fitting, then, that after this happened, I went home and opened Google Reader to find the latest post from Trent Hamm at The Simple Dollar, talking about what it all means:

That luxury car and that sweet house in the suburbs are balms. They’re like putting calamine lotion on a very bad case of the chicken pox – you might lessen the itch, but the itch is still there and it will keep coming back no matter how much lotion you put on it.

What is the itch? That itch is your dreams, what your soul tells you that you should be doing with your time. That itch is the dream that you’re not chasing so you can drive that Lexus on your dreaded morning commute. That itch is the time you spend at meetings when you’d rather be your son’s Little League coach. That itch is the realization that you’ve just sold your dreams for a house full of consumer goods that are gathering dust while you sit in a hotel room watching sports on basic cable after a business meeting wondering what has happened to your life.

Exactamundo. Money comes and money goes, but time is in limited supply — once it’s gone you can’t get it back. I’m chasing my dreams, and they’re bigger than some mortgage or car payment. To quote Trent one more time, every time we make a purchase that doesn’t have real meaning for us, we’ve added another bar to our prison cell.

I have discovered a little-known secret that has allowed me to raise my credit score significantly. Using this revolutionary financial secret, I raised my credit score by more than 80 points in only a few months.

Sure, there are lots of gimmicks and programs available online that promise to help you magically raise your credit score, but they all require you to do debt consolidation, or apply for hardship billing status, or even to file bankruptcy. Some of them try to convince you to write fictitious letters claiming that your bad credit marks aren’t really yours.

All these gimmicks and programs are encouraging people to be dishonest and to try to cheat the system. But most people just aren’t that dishonest. Most of us don’t want to spend our lives looking over our shoulders and trying to keep our lies straight. Am I right?

My radical new program offers an honest solution. If you follow my simple advice, you will see your credit score increase rapidly, and your debt will decrease. And since there are no gimmicks and no tricks, you can feel good about yourself and have the confidence of knowing you won’t have to answer for it later.

This is truly groundbreaking advice. It’s so obvious that most people don’t even realize that it’s an option. But it is, and it works. It worked for me, and it can work for you, too.

It’s not difficult, and doesn’t require a great deal of time. You don’t have to spend hours on the phone with creditors, or writing letters to Equifax, Experian, and TransUnion. Most of the work can be done in just a few minutes each month, right from your computer.

Are you ready for this groundbreaking advice? It’s simple: pay your bills. Yep, that’s really it. Just pay your freakin’ bills! If you pay the money you owe, your score will go up, and your debt will go down. It’s really that simple!

I won’t even charge for this advice. I’m giving it to you, my readers, free of charge. So go and try it. See that it actually works! Just pay the money you owe, and watch how much your financial situation improves!

I often hear people try to encourage each other, offering the advice that you have to love yourself for who God made you. Mother’s tell this to their child who’s shorter than everyone else his age. Wives tell this to their balding husbands. Etc.

Well, to be frank, I think it’s a bunch of bullshit. We are our parents’ offspring. Our traits, our appearances, and even in large part our personalities are products of a genetic coupling process that is well documented and understood. If your mother had a dominant gene for brown eyes and recessive for blue, and your father had brown eyes with recessive for green, then you’re going to have a very high probability of having brown eyes, with a slight chance for green, and you will never have a chance at blue eyes.

That’s science. It’s not some random, magical experience. It’s not like you get pregnant, and then God sets up a workshop in your womb, playing games of chance for 9 months until a baby is born. If that were the case, white couples would be able to have black babies, and asian couples could have arabic babies. That doesn’t happen.

You are the product of genetics. And as such, there is no divine plan for who you are. Therefore, choosing to just take what life gives you is living by default. It’s refusing to take responsibility for yourself.

I say, stop living by default. Start living by design. Live where you live because you choose to live there. Look how you look because you choose to look that way.

You don’t like be overweight? or underweight? Stop whining about it. Stop blaming it on your McDonalds, or your wife’s excellent cooking, or the price of healthy food. Stop blaming God for making you a miserable fat person, or an insecure skinny person. Take responsibility. Change your diet. Start going to the gym. Design your body how you want it.

You don’t like being poor? You don’t like living week to week? You hate not having extra money to go out to dinner or spend a night at a hotel? Stop blaming your job, or your education, or your family’s expectations. Take responsibility. Look for a better job. Get more education. Change your spending habits. Be more frugal. Stop buying every cute singing fish that you see in the line at Wal-Mart. Design your finances how you want them.

Have you ever known someone who got plastic surgery done? A facelift, or a nose job, or a beast augmentation, or lyposuction? Sometimes the work looks natural, and sometimes you can tell it’s not. (Think Cher…) But I have never known someone who got cosmetic surgery and wasn’t happier for doing so. In fact, I remember seeing a piece on tv about a real life couple who had sunk hundreds of thousands of dollars into cosmetic surgery to make themselves literally look like Ken and Barbie™, but even though their looks were obviously cosmetic, it didn’t stop the couple from being truly happy with themselves. Instead of being insecure, they are confident and outgoing.

You have the power to choose your life. Stop complaining about your situation. Stop accepting that you have no control. Stop being a victim and start being a cause. It’s very empowering when you choose to take responsibility for yourself. Instead of being miserable with the life you have by default, you can be truly happy with the life you have by design.