One of my favorite personal mottos regarding photography is this: The key isn’t what you put into the photo, but what you leave out. Today, I found a YouTube video which demonstrates that thought beautifully.

The most powerful element of photography is not what you put into the photo, but what you leave out. The human brain is a fantastic thing. When details are missing, the mind fills in the blanks on its own. And moreover, it fills in those blanks from personal experience. In other words, by giving less detail, you give the viewer more room to make the photo personal and meaningful.

I cracked second place this time around on the caption contest. The first place submission really was funnier… but I didn’t even get an Honorable Mention for my A Few Good Men reference, which I thought was the best:

“We follow odors, son. We follow odors, or people die. It’s that simple. Are we clear?”

Part of comedy is figuring out who your audience is, and since I’m getting closer to that top position it seems fair to say that I’m starting to get an idea of what kinds of punchlines work.

The results of the latest creative humor writing contest are in. The theme was quirky job placements.

I didn’t crack the top three, but I submitted three one-liners, and all three of them (politics, sanitation, computers) were listed among the honorable mention. Judging by some of the others in the list, however, I’m guessing it didn’t take much to get honorable mention this time around…

Google had some fun today, introducing a few April Fool’s day features. There was the “custom time” feature on GMail, allowing you to bend space-time and send emails into the past. There was the “I’m Feeling Lucky” button on Google Calendar, which seems to give you a date with a random celebrity. And then there’s Virgle, a joint venture between Google and Virgin Airlines, offering vacations to Mars.

The UK edition of the Motley Fool posted a fake “breaking news” article explaining that who you vote for affects your credit rating. And even Hillary Clinton had a little fun, challenging Barack Obama to a bowling contest where the winner takes the nomination; she even said she’d spot him two frames.

My grand prank for the day was a fun one. I hacked the phone system at work and caused every phone in my department to call itself, all at once. I pressed the “Go” button and a wave of ringing phones swept the office from the south wall to the north. One entertained voice proclaimed over the cubicle wall, “well, I guess that’s Lawnmower Man sending us the signal.”

What fun did you have today? Were you pranked? Did you do any pranking? Leave me some comments.

I didn’t even get honorable mention for my submission to the latest caption contest.

Okay, now open up and say “aaaarrrrggghhhhh”…

I’m not saying it was the best, but seriously? You didn’t even think it was worth honorable mention at the bottom of the page?

With elections coming, there’s a lot of discussion about The War Against Terror (TWAT). TWAT is going to be a big issue when you go to the poll, so I think it’s important to understand all the ins and outs.

First, it comes as no surprised that TWAT was first proposed during the Clinton administration. It was well known that Bin Laden wanted to blow our towers. (He had already tried to do it once in the garage.) The proposal, however, came at the end of Clinton’s term, so it was decided that the next administration should be given the reigns in deciding how to proceed, so TWAT was handed to Bush, whose was debriefed early in his term.

Bush dropped the ball. Bush and Dick didn’t take TWAT seriously, so they didn’t use protection. The end result: a 19-man mile-high club blew our towers. That got Bush hot and bothered, and he responded by shooting his load in Afghanistan.

The real problems started, though, when Bush and Dick got bent, and decide to go after Iraq in search of lubrication. The oval office thought the Iraqis would welcome us openly, so they just charged right in to the dry climate, without any foreplay.

As it turns out, the Iraqis didn’t really want it, they were just caught up in the moment. And then it got out that Bush and Dick were lying, saying whatever they had to just to get some action. At one point, they changed positions and Colin got irritated.

Nobody was prepared. Our guys were inserted without adequate protection and they’ve been pounding away at TWAT for quite some time. The friction has been intense, and lately they’re even experiencing surges. The whole thing seems ready to blow, and now the question is whether we should pull out, or stay in and make a long-term commitment.

If our guys pull out, they can come home and get some rest, and be ready to party next weekend. But Bush wants to stay in, because he wants to give birth to a new democracy. But the problem is, we were never committed to Iraq, we just wanted to get in their plants, and if you give birth without commitment you end up paying for it for the next 20 years.

As far as I can tell, the real issue is that Bush thinks he’s already sown the seeds of democracy, and he’s against aborting, so he thinks there’s only one thing left to do. But other people disagree; they think that we haven’t climaxed yet, and that we can avoid a big mistake before it’s too late.

It comes down to this: Bush tried to date-rape the middle east, knock them up, and then leave us paying child support… but our country can’t even afford our own children. Sometimes, it’s better to pull out.

Well, I hit the #3 spot on HumorPowerTips for my response to a recent write-in joke theme. But #3 isn’t a winner, it’s the second loser. Now I’m going to be training like Rocky, eating raw eggs, tying my feet together while I chase chickens across the road, slipping the jab with my punchlines… Next month, victory will be mine! Muuaaaahhahahaahaahah!!!!!

Today I was inspired to have a look at some of recent history’s worst book titles. Here are some samples of what I found:

Fart Proudly (link)

How Green Were The Nazis? (link)

Proceedings of the Eighteenth International Seaweed Symposium (link)

How To Good-Bye Depression: If You Constrict Anus 100 Times Everyday. Malarkey? or Effective Way? (link)

Damn. That last title was so funny we have to take a moment and read the book’s description:

I think constricting anus 100 times and denting navel 100 times in succession everyday is effective to good-bye depression and take back youth. You can do so at a boring meeting or in a subway. I have known 70-year-old man who has practiced it for 20 years. As a result, he has good complexion and has grown 20 years younger. His eyes sparkle. He is full of vigor, happiness and joy. He has neither complained nor born a grudge under any circumstance. Furthermore, he can make love three times in succession without drawing out.

The winner, as far as I’m concerned, is the children’s book depicted at the right.

I really love the internet. Where else can the unsung heroes of society really get an opportunity to exploit their talents, and have fun doing it?

Today’s unsung hero is the instructional poster artist. You know, like the guy that draws the pictures on that laminated card in the back of the airplane seat. Or, in this case, the web page illustrating how to steal the arm rest from the passenger next to you.

soporific
adj
1. causing or tending to cause sleep.
2. pertaining to or characterized by sleep or sleepiness; sleepy; drowsy.
3. something that causes sleep, as a medicine or drug

for example:
My coworker’s constant, apologetic droning has had a soporific effect on everyone involved in today’s meeting.