I’m glad someone finally put an end to that bullshit perfect season. Sorry, Pats fans, but cheaters don’t deserve names like “dynasty” or “best quarterback ever”.

Thank you, Eli Manning, Michael Strahan, and all the true champions of the New York Football Giants, for pissing all over the crybaby GQ QB’s corn flakes, and preventing the NFL from being tainted the way that some other sports have become.

Yeah, that’s right. Fuck Randy Moss. Fuck Tom Brady. Fuck the players who think they’re bigger than the game. Take a look at that enormous “in your face” act performed by Randy Moss after is Super Bowl touchdown, and you’ll see exactly why it’s TEAMS that win championships, not players.

Last time I counted, Randy Moss, Terrell Owens, and Ocho Cinco had a combined ZERO Super Bowl rings. The Giants won the Super Bowl with Jeremy Shockey on crutches on the sideline. I wonder if they’d have done so well with him on the field.

Okay, so it’s been a few days, but I’ve decided I want to chime in.

These are my thoughts on Super Bowl XLI:

• Chicago was the better team. For them not to win speaks volumes — not about the resolve of the Colts, but about the lack of character and leadership on the Bears.
• After the opening kick was returned for a touchdown, every kickoff the Colts made was a flopping squib kick to keep the ball out of Devin Hester’s hands, resulting in a lot of returns from the 35 by linemen and role-players. Why didn’t the Bears adjust to this strategy by loading up the area around the 35 yard line with running backs and receivers?
• All year long, Cedric Benson has been the Bears’ featured back while Thomas Jones has chewed up the yards and made defenses miss. How do you get to the Super Bowl and still be unaware of this? Benson had two short runs and a fumble before his injury gave Jones the opportunity. Result: huge gain on the next run, by Thomas Jones. The fact that his future in Chicago is unclear is atrocious.
• The Indianapolis defense was the worst in the league against the run this season, yet closed their gaps effectively throughout the entire postseason, basically taking away the run as a weapon for their opponents. I think the name of Anthony MacFarland should not be overlooked when credit for a Super Bowl win is discussed in Indy.
• By comparison, the Bears defense was categorically number one for most of the season, before they eventually melted down. By the time they got to the Super Bowl, they were missing tackles and dropping interceptions as if they were a totally different team. What happened?
• When you’ve got Brian Griese on your bench, how do you keep going back to Rex Grossman every week? Why hasn’t the NFL learned to stop drafting quarterbacks from football factory schools in Florida?
• I’m happy for Payton Manning and Tony Dungy, two gentlemen whose brilliant careers will finally be taken seriously now that they’ll be wearing rings. There’s a guy named Urlacher who understands that really well right now.

Every year, before the start of the football season, it’s the job of every sports pundit to make their ridiculous predictions about who will be the next Super Bowl champion. I can understand that you’ve got to have something to talk about in order to get the football fans primed for the upcoming season. I can also understand that you’ve got to remind them that your show exists in order to start getting viewers ready. Fine. But on ESPN’s NFL Today they dedicated an entire show to their predictions. How much is there to say, really, about something that won’t even happen for almost seven more months?

These guys are full of crap! Not only did they predict that Super Bowl XLI would be a rematch of Super Bowl XXXVIII between the Panthers and the Patriots… not only did they pick a winner — the Carolina Panthers — but they had the audacity to pick a score and to declare that the game would be won by a field goal kick. As if the 1:32 odds against being right weren’t bad enough for your pick, you’ve got to throw that out there?

And it gets better. They had a board up, predicting the entire playoffs with winners chosen, which showed the Pittsburgh Steelers playing in the AFC Championship game! I thought ESPN had the inside info, but maybe they missed the part about Jerome Bettis retiring, and Ben Roethlisberger breaking his face in half on some old lady’s car.

It’s all wasted air anyhow, since everyone knows the Buccaneers are coming back for number two, but just to keep pace with ESPN, let’s just jump out on a limb and say that the Buccaneers will beat the Cincinnati Bengals by a touchdown in the first ever Super Bowl to go into overtime, with a final score of 35-28, and Chris Simms will throw for 366 yards, 3 touchdowns, and two interceptions, while Cadillac Williams will run for the other two TDs. Is that ridiculous enough to sound riveting? Time to prep my resume for a sportscaster’s job at ESPN.