@Randem

This weekend I watched Street Kings. After seeing the commercials, I expected it to suck. Let’s face it; you put Keanu Reeves and Forrest Whitaker into any movie, and you’re pretty much asking for a lousy movie. But then fill in the cast with bit parts played by Hugh Laurie and Cedric The Entertainer, and a handful of no-name gangster rappers, and I’m starting to believe you’re just trying to fulfill P.T. Barnum’s prophecy about the birth rate of suckers.

Fortunately it didn’t full-out suck, so I suppose you could say I was pleasantly surprised. You know, in that same way that you’re pleasantly surprised to find out that the burning sensation when you pee is an STD, but it’s treatable with a shot.

Right. So Keanu Reeves plays the role of maverick-risk-taker-with-no-personality. No surprise. If you’ve seen Point Break, Speed, Johnny Mnemonic, Chain Reaction, The Matrix, or Constantine, then you know what I’m talking about. This time, however, the writer and director weren’t sure that we would get the point, so they made a repeated effort of actually spelling it out to the viewer. “Tom, you’re the only guy crazy enough to do it. You’re like a guided missile.”

There were a few interesting plot turns, a handful of quotable one-liners, and some uniquely intense action scenes that really made the audience feel the bones breaking, and those are the details that kept this movie from being a total suck-fest.

The majority of the film is completely forgettable, but there is one moment I’ll always remember. It’s at the end of the movie, where Keanu is playing talentless-actor-trying-to-look-betrayed, and Forest Whitaker is playing the part of overweight-guy-who-exaggerates-every-body-movement, and I’m about ready to go watch the paint dry in the lobby when I look up and make a startling realization…

Forest Whitaker is Mr Potatohead.