One word. Fine. It packs quite a punch. I don’t like it when someone tells me, “fine.” In fact, I’d say I hate it.
When someone tells me something is “fine”, the one thing of which I am certain is that the something in question is not fine — it’s not even good, or okay. It can safely be said, then, that the person saying “fine” is not being completely honest. In fact, they’re being downright inauthentic.
I, like all humans, rely on authenticity. I trust people who I “believe,” and we distrust those who I do not. When someone is not being authentic, not being straightforward, I am aware — even if only on a subconscious level — that they are holding something back from me, and true to my human nature, I question what that is why they need to keep it from me.
And so it goes, then, that when a person says, “fine,” it is understood that only ill will follow. In a single word, they have communicated to me that they do not agree with what I’ve said, in fact they likely disagree strongly, but that rather than express their disagreement honestly they are going to accept the thing the point with which they disagree.
The implications are huge. It is clear that the person has misgivings about the point, but it is unclear what those misgivings are. In basically agreeing to something with which they don’t actually agree at all, is this person putting me in danger? Are they allowing me to make a bad decision? Or, is the unspoken disagreement more personal in nature? Maybe it’s actually a good decision but one that will have some negative effect on this other person.
The bottom line is that I don’t really know. The prudent thing to do, of course, is to ask the person to explain their misgivings so that, at the very least, I can make an informed decision. But the damage of the word “fine” can’t be undone. Even if, upon being asked, this person explains their reservations, I will still be left with the feeling that I cannot rely on this person to be honest, or authentic, or to give me information that might be pertinent to my decisions.
If I about to step into a snake-infested pit unaware, I want to have someone by my side who will warn me of the danger… not someone who gives me a smug look and says, “fine.”
