Every year, before the start of the football season, it’s the job of every sports pundit to make their ridiculous predictions about who will be the next Super Bowl champion. I can understand that you’ve got to have something to talk about in order to get the football fans primed for the upcoming season. I can also understand that you’ve got to remind them that your show exists in order to start getting viewers ready. Fine. But on ESPN’s NFL Today they dedicated an entire show to their predictions. How much is there to say, really, about something that won’t even happen for almost seven more months?

These guys are full of crap! Not only did they predict that Super Bowl XLI would be a rematch of Super Bowl XXXVIII between the Panthers and the Patriots… not only did they pick a winner — the Carolina Panthers — but they had the audacity to pick a score and to declare that the game would be won by a field goal kick. As if the 1:32 odds against being right weren’t bad enough for your pick, you’ve got to throw that out there?

And it gets better. They had a board up, predicting the entire playoffs with winners chosen, which showed the Pittsburgh Steelers playing in the AFC Championship game! I thought ESPN had the inside info, but maybe they missed the part about Jerome Bettis retiring, and Ben Roethlisberger breaking his face in half on some old lady’s car.

It’s all wasted air anyhow, since everyone knows the Buccaneers are coming back for number two, but just to keep pace with ESPN, let’s just jump out on a limb and say that the Buccaneers will beat the Cincinnati Bengals by a touchdown in the first ever Super Bowl to go into overtime, with a final score of 35-28, and Chris Simms will throw for 366 yards, 3 touchdowns, and two interceptions, while Cadillac Williams will run for the other two TDs. Is that ridiculous enough to sound riveting? Time to prep my resume for a sportscaster’s job at ESPN.