@Randem

I think we got ripped off on the final episode of The Sopranos. There has always been an artisitic overtone to the show, and it was certainly evidenced in the ending. I can also understand that the producers wanted to leave a little mystery so the viewer could form a personal opinion of what ultimately happened.

we got ripped off on the final episode

The problem with that, however, is that we're not talking about Old Yeller, or Gone With The Wind. This wasn't a Hitchcock classic, nor was it the latest Friday The 13th thriller. We're talking about The Sopranos here — a show that raised the bar for being in your face. Anything less than an in-your-face ending is a cop-out.

Who are you kidding? Are we supposed to believe that in the end, the Soprano family lives happily ever after? Or conversely, are we supposed to be satisfied that Tony gets blasted, yet not care that we never saw it happen?

So, faced with this utterly disappointing lack of commitment on the part of the producers, I'm going to feed you the ending that we got cheated out of — the artsy, yet characteristically Sopranos ending that we all deserved:

Tony, Carmella, and AJ are sitting at the table, and Meadow is running to the diner door.

Next, the suspicious man emerges from restroom. Next, only Tony's face is visible as he slowly turns his attention away from his family to face this stranger. His mouth goes from a smile to completely blank.

We see a glimpse of Meadow's face, just as she's coming through the diner door. Her expression changes from hurried to fearful, her eyes shoot wide open.

The screen goes black for two seconds, during which we hear a gunshot.

Then we get a few seconds in slow motion of AJ, wincing to shield his eyes from the blood that has already sprayed his face. Behind him, Carmella can be seen beginning to scream.

Then the screen goes black for another second, and when it comes back, we're filming in real-time again. The camera is at table level and we see Tony's head slump down with a thud.

We get a few seconds of people in the diner screaming and running. As the music starts to play and the credits roll, the camera follows the hit-man as he casually walks out the door.

The end.

Labels: fun, reviews, tv

How many times in the past two days have I heard that phrase uttered?

Did you hear about that kid that shot that pig?

Whatever. Leave me alone. Why am I supposed to care about some boy shooting a pig? What's so fascinating about this story? Yes, I understand that a 1000-point boar is obscenely large. Yes, I understand that the kid is 11 years old.

If the story were to stop there, I'd already be pissed off at the kid's parents for putting a loaded gun in the hands of a kid, and I'd be even more pissed off at them for putting said kid in harm's way to face a 1000-pound boar.

Yeah. If the story stopped there.

But what if we pay just a little more attention? What if we read on, and learn that this was not the ferocious wild beast we've been led to believe, but rather a farm-raised pig that was purchased just 4 days prior to being slaughtered. [link]

And what if we read on to learn that this wasn't some brave kid who faced fear and bravely took out a giant beast coming to kill him, but instead it was a spoiled brat who was chauffered around a fenced-in hunting ground by his dad, who shot the pig nine times over the course of three hours before it died. [link]

This isn't bravery, it's sadistic. If you locked Rosie O'Donnell in a high school gymnasium and a group of children circled her on roller skates while shooting her with spit-balls, they would ALL be more heroic than this lying little turd.

Labels: rant