Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Women
A little advice to the women, from a man's point of view.
- Neurotic, psychotic behavior is NOT cute. Don't fool yourself into thinking "he'll love me because I'm quirky," because men are logical. We need things to make sense, and while you think you're "cute and quirky", we think you're totally whack-job, psycho, nutball, head-for-the-hills insane. It's not cute.
- Snooping is stalking. I know you think your man is amazing, and you want to know everything about him. I know you just can't get enough. But clicking through every one of his friends on myspace and reading everything about them isn't getting to know him... it's what stalkers do. It's scary, and it's the reason we don't tell you more. We're afraid of where else you'll snoop, and what new, irrational argument we're going to have to diffuse.
- Possessiveness, jealousy, and being territorial are the same fucking thing. You can't be one without being the other. These are all irrational responses to fear, and the sooner you accept that, the sooner you'll be able to deal with the real fear that is causing it.
- Accusations will blow up in your face. This is an important thing to understand. When you allow jealousy (see above) to get to you, and you start making accusations, this tells us one thing quite clearly: that you don't trust us. But we men hate to be accused of something we haven't done. If we're going to serve the sentence, we may as well commit the crime. And when it's done, you'll wear it like a badge saying "I knew it," never realizing that you caused it. Either you trust your man or you don't... there is no middle ground.
- The man you're with is not your ex. That's why it's called an "ex"... because it's over. Don't judge your man based on what the last man did. Otherwise, it leads to accusations (see above) and that just leads to trouble.
- When we say "no," what we mean is "NO". I understand that when you women say "no," you're really thinking "oh, I'll eventually say yes, but I want him to keep asking," but that's not the case for us. We men are logical. We think things through before we make decisions... and we hate to close the door on options... so if a man said "no," you can be sure that he's considered all of that and he's decided that the answer is no.
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Is it just me?
Or was that Bears-Cardinals game last night the most bizarre game ever played in the NFL?
I haven't gotten to watch much football so far this season, due to moving and what-not, but I took some time out this weekend to get in a few games. I watched a spirited game between the Buccaneers and the Bengals, in which the Bucs pulled off a last-minute touchdown that required a booth review to overturn a bad call on the field, giving the Tampa their first victory of the year. Very impressive was the second ever start for rookie quarterback Bruce Gradkowski, who was very poised and confident for a rookie QB.
And then last night I watched another rookie QB make his second start in the NFL. Matt Leinart looked far too comfortable on the field to be a rookie. He was managing the game clock, reading the defenses, and making all the throws, even with the number one defense bearing down on him. By half-time, he had led the Cardinals (notoriously football's worst team) to a 20-0 lead over the top-ranked team in the league.
Meanwhile, all the hype about "Sexy" Rex Grossman was for naught, as he threw for less than 50%, and gave away two interceptions and two fumbles in the first half alone. All hope was lost for Da Bears when they went into the locker room for half time.
The third quarter didn't make things any better, as the score changed to 23-3 over the next 15 minutes. Grossman continued to play like shit, though the defense had started to create some opportunities for him. It was clear when the fourth quarter arrived that the game would not be turned around by Rex Grossman.
What happened next was astounding. After yet another preposterous punt on a 3-and-out, rather than going for it and trying to salvage the game, the Bears defense forced a turnover and returned it for a touchdown. Then, on the following possession, as Leinart started to march the Cardinals downfield again, the Bears defense force ANOTHER turnover, and returned it for a touchdown. The Cardinals started moving, and finally reached a punting situation, which the Bears punt returner returned for a touchdown!
Bam! Bam! Boom! And with just over two minutes remaining in the game, and no offensive points scored, the Bears are now winning 24-23 in a game they gave away for three quarters.
But Leinart still doesn't give up, and he marches his team down field again, putting his kicker well into comfortable range for a game-winning field goal. But the Cardinals are a cursed team, and he shanks an easy FG to the left of the goal post. Bears win, remaining undefeated.
Incredible.
I haven't gotten to watch much football so far this season, due to moving and what-not, but I took some time out this weekend to get in a few games. I watched a spirited game between the Buccaneers and the Bengals, in which the Bucs pulled off a last-minute touchdown that required a booth review to overturn a bad call on the field, giving the Tampa their first victory of the year. Very impressive was the second ever start for rookie quarterback Bruce Gradkowski, who was very poised and confident for a rookie QB.
And then last night I watched another rookie QB make his second start in the NFL. Matt Leinart looked far too comfortable on the field to be a rookie. He was managing the game clock, reading the defenses, and making all the throws, even with the number one defense bearing down on him. By half-time, he had led the Cardinals (notoriously football's worst team) to a 20-0 lead over the top-ranked team in the league.
Meanwhile, all the hype about "Sexy" Rex Grossman was for naught, as he threw for less than 50%, and gave away two interceptions and two fumbles in the first half alone. All hope was lost for Da Bears when they went into the locker room for half time.
The third quarter didn't make things any better, as the score changed to 23-3 over the next 15 minutes. Grossman continued to play like shit, though the defense had started to create some opportunities for him. It was clear when the fourth quarter arrived that the game would not be turned around by Rex Grossman.
What happened next was astounding. After yet another preposterous punt on a 3-and-out, rather than going for it and trying to salvage the game, the Bears defense forced a turnover and returned it for a touchdown. Then, on the following possession, as Leinart started to march the Cardinals downfield again, the Bears defense force ANOTHER turnover, and returned it for a touchdown. The Cardinals started moving, and finally reached a punting situation, which the Bears punt returner returned for a touchdown!
Bam! Bam! Boom! And with just over two minutes remaining in the game, and no offensive points scored, the Bears are now winning 24-23 in a game they gave away for three quarters.
But Leinart still doesn't give up, and he marches his team down field again, putting his kicker well into comfortable range for a game-winning field goal. But the Cardinals are a cursed team, and he shanks an easy FG to the left of the goal post. Bears win, remaining undefeated.
Incredible.